Birth Choices

I honestly love being pregnant. I love bringing babies into this world and watching them grow, teaching them the best that I can. I've always wanted as many kids as I could have.. but now, I'm wondering if this might be our last. It makes me terribly sad to say that, and I hope that years down the road we can still have at least one more, but as the birth gets closer, I get more and more worried.

My options for birth are a repeat C-section or a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). While I believe the c-section with Aeson was meant to be (there was a knot in the cord that could have tightened while trying to move him into a head down position, which would have cut off his oxygen supply), I really wish I'd never had to have one so I didn't have to worry about these two options.

C-sections are risky, just like any other surgery. There's risk of cutting other organs, cutting the baby, infection, blood loss, higher rates of baby having breathing problems, etc. I would never choose to have any surgery if I could at all help it. My c-section with Aeson left me sore for a long, long time afterwards, and I even still get sore from time to time. I also hate that the baby is taken immediately away from you, and you don't get to see them for an hour. I don't believe that's the way it should be or a good beginning. Not to mention, I'm going to be going to school when I have the baby and really can't afford to take weeks off. There's a longer hospital stay, and you're not allowed to drive for 2 weeks after. C-sections also get more risky the more you have.

So, I thought that VBAC was my choice. As I've gone through the pregnancy, though, it seems as though stories continue to pop up about people choosing to have a c-section and having a 'window' in their uterus that the baby can be seen through- something that may mean it would have ruptured during a VBAC, and they were lucky they chose a repeat c-section. I have, however, also read and been told that women who do successfully have a VBAC may also have that window and it never ruptures. With a VBAC, there really aren't any big risks (like the extensive list with a c-section) but the ONE big risk is your uterus rupturing. This is estimated to be less than 1 in 100 (versus each of the risks of a c-section being 1-2 in 100); however, the effects can be horrible. It can lead to a hysterectomy, baby's death (or long-term consequences b/c baby is cut off from oxygen and everything until they can get mom to surgery and get baby out), or even maternal death. I made the mistake of reading VBAC stories that had gone wrong the other day, and they were so, so sad and so, so scary. So while there's less of a chance of something happening, if something DID happen, it could obviously be much worse.

So how in the world do you make a decision between those two things? I keep trying not to worry about it. Our determining factor was going to be the sonogram that we'll be getting around 34 weeks. Baby's been breech or transverse so far, so if she stays that way, we'll have to go with c-section. If she goes head down, we'd be able to try for a VBAC. My chiropractor is planning on starting to do the Webster technique around 28 weeks, which basically makes sure everything's in place so baby can move head down if she wants to. So anyway, I guess I'm just hoping that the sonogram will be the deciding factor for us and whichever way that is will be the right way.

Who knew pregnancy and childbirth could be so scary! :(