Sleep!

Aeson's been sleeping 8-9 hours the last couple of nights! (8:30p.m.-4:30 or 5:30a.m.) He'll nurse and go back to sleep then until sometime between 7 & 8. I'm still waking up, though, and both nights I've been unable to go back to sleep at one point during the night for at least an hour. Hopefully this will last & I'll get used to it! He's also been napping by 11:30 each day.. He usually didn't go down for a nap until at the earliest 12.. and he wouldn't go to bed until about 10pm each night. Hopefully it's not just part of this bug he has!

Westen also stayed dry several nights in a row this week. He still has to wear pull-up's at night, because he's always been too sound of a sleeper. Hopefully that will be over soon!

Aeson has been doing the Hokey Pokey this week.. It is too cute! I need to videotape it.

About the last post, sometimes I get down, especially when things seem to be piling up, and tend to look at everything in a negative light. I'm always hopeful, though, and always thankful for what I do have. It helps to write it out and then just leave it & move on!

Oh, we also got a Wii this week. We had one before, but something got stuck in it and it stopped working... Anyway, Westen loves playing it, and I've enjoyed playing it with him. As he's getting older, I find it more difficult to find things we both like to do together.

A bad week

What a week this has been! Why does it seem like when one bad thing happens, the second, then the third, etc happen? Ugh!

I've talked about it before, but once again, I'm just not happy with our current situation. The daycare is hard work and creates stressful situations. I'm not sure I'm made out for it! Returning to work full-time is not an option I'm willing to even consider, though. My husband is gone so darn much I feel like a single parent most of the time. This week has been particularly rough, with him getting off late every night. We never know what time for sure he's going to get off work. He leaves by 8 in the morning (and is getting ready for the hour before that, so we don't get any time there).. We don't see him all day long, since he works 30-45 minutes away.. and then the kids get hungry for dinner at a normal time but I have to try to hold them off til 7pm (usually, they have to have a snack & then don't eat dinner very well). We're lucky if he gets home by 7pm. Aeson's been going to sleep by 8:30, so that doesn't leave a whole lot of time with him. I believe it's because the kids are always with me, but they still continue to ALWAYS come to me for everything, even when their dad is here. Then Saturdays, I'm again the only one here to take care of them.. Eric's supposed to get home around 3:30, but it hasn't been before 4 lately. It's hard to fit in house stuff that I need a man to do, groceries, cleaning the entire house for the next week, and relaxation/family time into that time & Sunday. It goes by far too fast. Then, he has Monday off, but I have a house full of kids that I have to take care of, so it's not even really like he's here. And off to school I go Monday afternoon. And then we start all over.

School's another thing. We're using our tax refund to pay for this semester, but after that, I'm not sure we can continue to pay for it out of pocket. To get loans, you have to take at least 2 classes, which again I'm not willing to do. I know in the long run school is for the best.. It's just hard to fit it in.

I continue to feel like I don't have much support. Besides my husband not being here much, it's almost like I have no family except my sister. I'm so, so thankful for her. I do see her most days, and that helps. My "mom" isn't even like a mom, and I haven't talked to her for over a month. I don't see any of my other family, and it's hard to see friends when I'm stuck at home with lots of babies.

I try to ask myself what am I doing, and what can I do to make this better. I do try to contact my friends and set up times we can meet, but it doesn't always work out. Everyone's busy with their own lives.

Aeson's been sick the last couple of days, so that's been rough too. He's had constant diarrhea with no other symptoms. So, unfortunately, I missed my only chances to get out this week.. lunch with friends yesterday, a doula tea last night, and a playgroup this morning. I haven't even seen another adult except when picking Westen up from school, because I also haven't had the daycare kids (due to Aeson). I am thankful he hasn't gotten any other symptoms, none of us have gotten it, and I continue to be thankful for the ongoing nursing b/c he tends to do it more when he doesn't feel well, and I don't have to worry as much about dehydration!

People say to be thankful and to look at the positives. I've tried.. and I am thankful for everything that is good. I know it could be much worse, but it could also be much better.

There's also constant drama on facebook.. too much that I 'get' to see, since that's my only social outlet during the day.. and the constant guilt or worry over my parenting choices/skills.

Oh, I also found out this week that all of the pictures from Aeson's first birthday were deleted by the photographer. I was SO upset about this. Apparently she does so after 6 months, but I had NO idea or I would have made sure to order them. I contacted her a couple of times, explaining we didn't have the money at the time, but that I would be ordering them. Without asking, she deleted them & I didn't find out until I went to order them this week after getting our tax refund. I'm incredibly thankful we took pictures of everything, so we do still have the memories, but it was hard thinking of all those beautiful pictures I was going to use for a scrapbook just GONE. This is the second time I've had a bad experience with a small business in the last few months.

Our fish is also dying, I believe. I just wish he would or wouldn't, though, as insensitive as it sounds! We've spent so much time trying to 'fix' the problem (if there is a problem) this week, and it's just not worth it for a FISH to me.

Ahh.. stress. I know better times are coming.. I just wish they'd hurry and get here! (While at the same time not wanting these days to pass by!)

"Mom," "Best day ever," and Home Improvements

Aeson had his sonogram and bloodwork on Monday, and we got the results today (normal!). Eric said he did awesome this time too. He cried for a second when they laid him down for the sonogram, but he quickly stopped & was fine the rest of the time. We got the same person as last time for the bloodwork (she's the best!) and he didn't even whimper when she stuck him. I hate that he has to go through this all the time, but I'm so thankful for the normal results.

Aeson's started calling me just "mom" more often lately. Even when he stirs during the night, he'll say "mom" and then fall back asleep. I love it. :) I swear, his age is driving me crazy, though! I know it will be short-lived, but he does EVERYthing he's not supposed to! He keeps throwing things in the toilet, he'll pull the towels down off the back of the door several times a day, turn the tv off when we're watching it (which we don't watch much of it!).. just things like that!

Westen has been drawing, drawing, drawing. He gets bored when he doesn't have a pen and paper in his hands. He's also had some of "the best days ever!" (in his words) lately. One day, it was because he had a bath, got to make a snowman, and I think Aunt Chelsea was coming over. It's always little things like that, but I think it's so cute!

We recently had some work done on our house. We got a new furnace and had some insulation put in. Our old furnace was very, very, very old. It was the original one. When they did the insulation, they brought up our wiring. I don't know why I hadn't thought about it before. I knew it was old, but I guess I never really thought about replacing it. He said we're fine until we start blowing fuses, but the wiring is the original wiring and it's obviously not as safe as new would be. They also couldn't put insulation over it because of the fire hazard, so we won't get the full effect of the insulation until we get new wiring and can spread the insulation over it. I haven't been up in the attic, but he said it basically appears like it was only half done. There are so many projects around here we would like to do. We have very, very old lighting in some rooms, and I've always kind of liked it because of how old fashioned it is.. but if we redo the wiring, we will have to replace all of that. We eventually want to completely redo our garage, waterproof our basement, and get new windows, among other little things. Right now, I think we're looking at getting a sliding glass door in the back of our house. Right now, there's just a small window there. I know this may not seem like a need, but I've wanted one for years. Our backyard is fenced in and Westen always wants to play back there, but I don't like to let him when I can't see him. Also, it would just make it so much easier to go straight into the backyard instead of around & in the mud (which is another project). AND I'm wanting to get our dog one of those huge pen things, so he has a specific area I can put him in to potty. So much to do, and so much to think about!

18 month visit/ Valentine's Day

My kids are growing up! They're playing more and more together, and I have more and more 'me' time (although still not very much!). It's weird to be doing something by myself and realize Aeson's in playing with Westen and is perfectly entertained. Thank goodness for big brothers! Aeson's gotten more attached to Daddy too lately.. I think especially since I started going to class and he spends 5+ hours alone with them each week. They've pretty much turned it into a movie night. It makes me happy that they're all so happy together, even without me (although Westen does tell me every time that they missed me! :)). I don't know if I've already mentioned this (sorry if I have), but Aeson just falls asleep next to Eric too while they're watching whatever movie. It's crazy to me!

We had Aeson's 18 month checkup yesterday. He could do absolutely every single thing on the 18 month questionnaire, no problem. There was also a signs of autism questionnaire this time and all of those answers were 'normal' too. He's my big, big boy. 32.5 lbs now and 35 inches long. She commented on how good he was when she was examining him. (She should've been in the room 5 minutes earlier, when he was trying to open every single thing in there! lol) She said she has absolutely no concerns about him whatsoever. It is time for his regular sonogram and bloodwork again :(, so we'll be doing that Monday. You have no idea how much I dread that. His doctor asked if I had any questions about vaccinations, saying again that they would give them to him however and whenever I wanted to. I told her I didn't, and she asked if I had brought the information I'd mentioned before. I had actually gone to print it off the day before, but the place was closed, so I did send it to her after I got home. We'll see what she has to say about it. She also recommended Aeson start drinking fluoridated water, since he nurses at night and won't drink cow's milk (and is therefore not receiving much vitamin D). I knew I had read some things about fluoride, but I couldn't remember exactly what off the top of my head, so I didn't say anything then.. but then I got home and started reading about it. The American Dental Association even says absolutely no fluoride before the age of 2 (even in water mixed with formula) because it has been shown to damage adult teeth. I've read more risks since then, so I don't think we'll be doing that. I'm just going to try to brush his teeth more often, wipe them with a cloth after he falls asleep, and increase his vitamin D. The next time he goes for a checkup will be when he's TWO! I can't believe that! It's too close!

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Eric had flowers delivered to me this weekend, which was sweet. :) We made homemade strawberry heart tarts (like poptarts) on Sunday. Yesterday, the kids woke up to little gifts for them-- we got them matching jammies, a tiny bit of chocolate, and a stuffed animal. We made heart-shaped pancakes, and then made felt heart necklaces. Westen made one for Calla too. :) He had his party at school that afternoon, and Aunt Chelsea also brought over little gifts for the kids. We got the daycare kids little stuffed animals as well and made them necklaces too. We made a quick trip to Dairy Queen after picking Westen up for school and that was about our day! I had to spend the evening in class, but at least we have next Monday off! I really actually enjoy going to class too.

Today, we went over to our friend Shannon's (and her daughter Calla's) house. On the way, I got the kids each a hashbrown.. We ended up having to stop on the way there because Aeson was not only eating the hashbrown but also eating the paper it was wrapped in!

Funny Kids

My hand/wrist is doing much better! No doubt due to all the prayers! It was still throbbing some yesterday but no excruciating pain like before.. and today, the splint is uncomfortable but that's about it! There's still a lump on my hand when I take the splint off, so I'm thinking something's definitely wrong.. but at least it doesn't hurt anymore! (with the splint on anyway)

We had another MIRACLE yesterday! I don't even think I want to share the whole story, but Aeson could have gotten hurt very badly and miraculously he didn't. He caught himself, and I was right in the room with him & able to scoop him right up.. but it still shook us both up. Strangely enough, all day the only two books he brought me were about Jesus and God. They aren't his usual books either. I have a feeling we're going to have lots of experiences like this with Aeson.. He just seems to be that kind of kid! Hopefully he will continue to be safe regardless!!

Aeson's had a few new words lately, and he's learned to put his finger up to his mouth and say "shhhh" (after being shh'd by his brother). I may have already mentioned this, but he LOVES throwing things away now or putting dishes in the sink (although sometimes he gets the two mixed up!).

Westen's been extremely funny lately. Last night, we went out to eat and they asked how old he was. Without thinking, I automatically said "four" and he says, "Nu uh, Mom! I'm five!" (It happened to be a place where the price is based on age for kids too, lol!) Then we were up getting food, and he said he was going to get so full, "just like that guy! He's full!" ..pointing to an overweight guy across the buffet line!! Oh, 5 year old's!

After we got home, we overheard Westen telling Aeson he would give him ten dollars if he'd stay out of his room! I have no idea where he got that one!

We had Ms. Calla's birthday party yesterday, and we got Westen's valentines ready for school today. The kids got Valentine cards from Grandma & Grandpa Behymer yesterday, and they both loved them. I wish I'd videotaped Aeson, because he loved opening it, and he's been carrying it around ever since, trying to put it up on the tv and everything. :) I took them to Walmart today to pick something out with their money. Westen chose two of those lifelike animal things.. a frog and an alligator. They're currently living in our bathroom sink. Aeson chose some musical instrument thing (sorry, I have no idea what it's called!) and a ball with all these hair-like things coming from it.

I also wish I would have been able to tape Aeson seeing the hamsters at Calla's house last night. He stood watching them for a full 5 minutes, at least, laughing out loud and pointing to them. It was hilarious. :)

If it's not one thing...!

After not going to the doctor for years (with the exception of pregnancy), I had to go AGAIN today! Yesterday, I rushed around getting three babies bundled up and out the door to go get Westen from school, which is a chaotic to begin with.. And then after picking up Westen and Calla, we get back home, I get two babies inside, Aeson starts following me back outside (and in the meantime, about letting an outdoor cat we DON'T want inside in).. so I'm telling him "No, no! Stay" while grabbing the other baby and trying to get inside quickly, and I round the corner of the van and FALL. Ouch! It hurt worse than any fall I've ever taken! I was shaky and hurt for a little bit, and it tore my favorite jeans! My knee took most of the fall and it's still all banged up and bloody. I had thought that was mostly it.. My hand/wrist hurt too but it's been hurting for a while due to my carpal tunnel (I think). As the evening wore on, though, it continued to hurt worse and Eric rubbing it made it hurt even worse. I took Ibuprofen I had left from my C-section and Tylenol, and neither one helped. It kept waking me up last night and it hurts even to have it resting! This morning, I felt shaky and almost like vomiting, it hurt so bad! I've never fractured or broken anything! I knew there was no way I was making it through the day without going to the doctor, though, so I waited, watching the clock, until I could call to get in!

I ended up spending 2.5 hours there! Saw the doctor first, and she said it didn't look good. The place it hurts in is one of the top three signs for fractures, so she said we needed to do Xrays. Went over to the hospital to get that done and waited FOREVER for the results. They didn't tell me what they were but said I needed to go back to the doctor's office. I get back over there, and they tell me they couldn't tell if I had a fracture or not. Ugh! So I don't know how much the xrays are going to cost, but I'll be basically paying for NOTHING. They also couldn't find a splint, so I was faced with 3 options.. Go to the ER & be checked out all over again b/c they have splints there, go to the orthopedic surgeon, OR get a CT scan.. which she said was thousands of dollars. Not good choices for someone without insurance! I said whatever was cheapest, so she was going to call the orthopedic doc and see when I could get in there. In the meantime, the doctor DID find a splint, so they decided instead to just have me wear that for the next week and get xrays again next Thursday. I didn't really understand that b/c she said if it does look fractured next week, they'll have to send me to Dr. White. I guess maybe just trying to get a definitive answer and save me money?? Because if it isn't fractured, I won't have to spend anymore money, other than the visits again next week.. But I'd also kind of like to just KNOW, instead of wait around for a week. I also have to wear it 24/7, except when I'm in the shower & she said to get it right back on after I get out... It's my right hand, so that really limits me! Ugggh!!!

I am, however, thankful that it was me that was hurt and not the baby! I'm also thankful I had no kids today & was able to go to the doctor. Eric did have to drive home from 45 minutes away to watch the kids, though, and then drive back. :(

It still hurts really bad with the splint on. I got some pain meds but the one dose I've taken didn't seem to do much. I'm clenching my teeth constantly b/c it hurts so bad!

Westen's been so concerned! He keeps telling me he knows he didn't do it, but he's still sorry I'm hurt! He's such a sweetie. He's also been telling me lately that he loves me "all around the whole country" and he'll incorporate different endings into that, like about the Earth and planets and so on!

I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day with the kids! I got little stuffed animals for the daycare kids today while I was waiting on my prescription and also picked out dinosaur valentines for Westen's class. He LOVES them! Aeson was looking at them after him, imitating the excited noise Westen had made. It was too funny! He tries to copy everything big brother does!

Sugar Bear

Last weekend, Sugar Bear came to stay with us. He's a bear from preschool that gets to go home with each of the children, and they write a story and draw a picture about their time together. Here's Westen's story:

Last time there was a Sugar Bear and he had a friend named Westen. He came home iwht him to play with him and then he went to bed to watch tv with Westen. And then Westen, he ate popcorn with Sugar Bear, while they watched tv.
Then last night I changed his clothes and we watched another movie. It was so fun. We even put so fun pajamas on. In the morning we went shopping with Sugar Bear and we all had fun together. Then Sugar Bear had so fun playing with the balloon and he threw it up in the air and didn't pop it!
Now I have to play football and I winned three games. Today I'm at home with Sugar Bear. We have a fish too. When I come out at night the fish gets scared of me.
At home, I made a Valentine for my momma. Sugar Bear had so much fun.
Then I have to go back to school and then everybody will love to play with Sugar. Westen had fun. He misses Sugar Bear so much. He even played computer games with him. I had so fun tonight wearing my Steelers jersey.
Westen