February 24

What a week!

Monday, we had our doctor's appointment. Everything looked good, and the doctor was fine with no induction.. however, I was still only 1 cm, 50% thinned, and he couldn't feel the baby's head. I asked him about the foley balloon and stripping membranes to induce labor, and he said he "moved" my membranes that day and that he didn't think he could get the foley balloon through the opening in the cervix at this point. He said he was unsure I would be having her vaginally the way things looked, and he didn't expect me to go into labor on my own in the next two weeks. He had me make my appointment for next week with his partner, because he was going to be gone.

I had known a friend who worked at this hospital and remembered her telling me NOT to go to his partner, so I quickly got ahold of her and found out more details. Afterwards, neither Eric nor I felt comfortable going into labor with this person as the doctor. At ALL. I hoped that I would just go within the week, before my doctor left.

The next morning, I called the office to see when he was going to be gone exactly and found out that that was his last day for TWO weeks! I would be 41 weeks by the time he returned. I was so, so upset. I cried at having to be in this situation, at not trusting the doctor (especially in a serious situation if something would happen), and mostly at feeling like I had to give up on the VBAC that I wanted. I had not wanted another c-section at all, and I had done so much praying, talking to my body and the baby, and just plain wishing and hoping that things would happen so I didn't have to.

After crying and talking to my family, I called our midwife we had previously to see what I should do about transferring back there. They called back to say the doctor she works with is on vacation until Tuesday, and they wanted me to see the other doctor because they'd want to deliver before then. This was upsetting as well, because we had already met (and liked) the one doctor and had not met the other. My sister was also put on strict bedrest that day, and I worried these two things were maybe signs that we shouldn't proceed with the c-section.. that I should just wait it out (and therefore be available to my sister). My midwife actually called that evening, and it was a relief to talk to her. She was disappointed for me and felt the system was failing me, but she was also happy to have us back and said that she definitely trusts this doctor and thought we would like him even more than the other. I thought it was wonderful that she called me at 8:30 at night just to talk about this stuff, without me even calling her. I seriously love her and the hospital there more than I can say.

I felt more comfortable with our decision after grieving about it for that bit of time. I, and my family, felt there are signs showing us this is the right thing to happen. I met with the new doctor just yesterday and found even more. The baby is sideways and in the worst position for any delivery. Even with c-section, it's more difficult to pull her out because they'll be coming in at her back. However, this doctor had more of those deliveries during his residency than any others. Glucose also showed up in my urine for the first time, but he wasn't worried about it since we're delivering soon. He even made the comment that maybe it was a good thing my doctor left. I got the feeling that he too felt it was meant to be this way. I liked him very much and spent an hour with him! He even asked if he could pray for us before he left the room, which I have never had a doctor do.

I now feel 100% sure this is the way it is supposed to be. We chose tomorrow for the big day. Eric & I have to be there at 5 a.m., and the c-section is scheduled for 7 a.m. My midwife will be there, and my doula is going with us but probably won't be in on the delivery. They recently changed things and now allow the baby in recovery with me to nurse right away, so I am SO happy about that. I really haven't felt nervous or unsure about it at all since then. I'm ready, and ready to meet our baby. My only concerns are those that go with any surgery.. I just hope and pray that things go well and that there are no problems with me or her.

So that's the plan! We'll be a family of 5 at this time tomorrow! Any prayers would definitely be appreciated.