My adorable boys!

Yesterday, Westen said he wants to be President when he grows up.

Today, he said he wants to be a garbage man when he grows up!

Yesterday, Aeson was getting in the refrigerator, and Westen yells, "Mom, Aeson's getting in the dresser in the fridge!!"

Aeson's saying SO much these days. He says "no" in the CUTEST darn voice ever and will argue & argue & argue with you if you try telling him "yes" about something when he wants it to be "no"! A lot of times he'll make his noises that let me know he's wondering what something is and when I tell him he says "ohhh," like he already knew or something! It's adorable too. He's started saying "hi" to everyone in an adorably cute voice as well. He waves at animals and people, even if they're pictures! He said "love you" back to me the other day finally! Just the last several days, he's also started saying "yeah".. Before, he would just say "no" and shake his head for yes.

Westen had an eye exam today for entrance into kindergarten. He was a little nervous beforehand, but he did very well! Nothing was needed either, so we just go back in a year for another exam. The people were very friendly, and Westen enjoyed chatting them up! The doctor asked if he was always this good and if his mom knew how lucky she was! :) He was disappointed because he WANTED glasses, but I was very happy he didn't have to have any! I'm sure he will in the future!

We're coming down to the last three weeks of school for me! We have one more test, one 15-20 page paper, and a 10 minute presentation left! I'm nervous about all of it! The semester was spaced out well so far, but now it seems like everything's grouped together & they're the biggest things! My brain has really stretched with this class too.. It's all about theories about people.. how people are born, how they learn, how they change, what truth and meaning are.. It's very interesting, but it almost makes my brain hurt to try to think of such things!

Oh, we also went to Breakfast with the Easter Bunny last weekend at HyVee. Aeson LOVED the Easter Bunny! He was so excited to see him and kept waving and waving to him. Sitting on his lap was no problem whatsoever! It was adorable.

Eric's New Job

Eric is really liking his new job! The rest of us are too! I don't think he realized how long his prior workdays really were until now that he's home and gets to experience a lot more of the day with us! It's so nice to have him home during the day.. We've been taking long walks and taking the kids fun places - to the park, the pet store, animal shelter, etc. Aeson asks where Daddy is every morning when he wakes up now and lets out a little moan and sad face when I tell him he's at work. He never did that at his old job, and I think it was because he was just used to him not being here much! It's also soooo nice to have Eric's help around the house! He got the kids swingset put together that we'd gotten them for Christmas. They've both been out every day playing on it! My brother-in-law and Eric also took part of the fence we had out and put some new up, so now when we walk out the back door we are in the fully fenced in backyard! I LOVE it! I can let Aeson play wherever without worrying about him going near the road. Westen likes to call our backyard his "playground" now. :) We're planning on getting them a sandbox for Easter too. Yesterday, I made a new recipe for lunch and Westen actually helped me! He doesn't want to too often, but yesterday he said he's "the chef!"

Work or Home

Aeson's been doing better & better in his own bed! He nurses and then is actually perfectly fine with being put in his bed, and he falls asleep without any fussing. He's been sleeping about 5 hours in it. Last night I had class, and Eric said he thought he was missing me a lot. He brought out a picture of me and Eric and kept saying "mama, mama." He'd fallen asleep by the time I got out of class but woke up when I got here, and even though he went to his bed without any problems, he soon heard a "choo choo" and decided he wanted to be by momma... So we let him sleep with us, and he still slept really well. The back and forth doesn't seem to bother him.. He's fine with whatever! A couple of weeks ago, he started saying "thank you" every time we gave him anything. I thought that was so cool, because it's a perfect example of learning by observation. Saying thank you was not something we told him to do or asked if he could say.. It was just something he picked up from hearing all of us say it! I love the ages both my boys are at right now. I wish it could last longer than it will! Eric and I took Westen to Hop last weekend while Aeson stayed with Eric's parents. It was a really cute movie, and Westen loved going. We had kindergarten registration for him last week. I can't believe it's almost time for him to start school. I have lots of mixed feelings about it! After going to the registration, we really had our doubts... I absolutely love the private school he's attending now, but the price is just outrageous after preschool. It would be doable for one kid, I suppose... but multiple ones? No way! There's no help or any way to get it lower either unless you're a member of the church, which I understand. I was pretty upset for a couple of days, but I think I've arrived at the conclusion that he'll just have to go to the public school and if we have any issues, I won't hesitate at all to homeschool him or figure out some other option. I have had such a hard time with the work/home dilemma lately. I wish our world was different! I know not everyone agrees with me and some people have to do what they have to do, so let me get that out before I go any further! For me, however, I truly believe that if you have children, you are to raise them. I don't want someone else basically raising them. To leave infants, even children, in someone else's care ALL day is too long. I absolutely don't mean this offensively to anyone who does work.. but it's just not right for me. I think my children are my responsibility, and I WANT them to be. I want to be there every time they cry.. I want to teach them all I know.. I want them to be safe and secure. However, then things like this kindergarten ordeal come up.... If I were working, we could afford the private school. I know things like this will continue to come up in the future too. It's so hard to know what the 'right' thing to do is. I enjoy working.. I got an education TO work.. I'm still going to school with thoughts of working in the future... BUT.. Being a mother is the most important job to me. It's really all I care about and the most important thing I'll look back on. So, I've thought that I would stay home or just work part-time with Eric or my sister watching the kids until I'm done having children and they're in school.. and THEN I'll go back to 'real' work.. But I'm afraid it will be hard then too. I'm sure my kids will be involved in so much, and I'll want to be home when they get there, etc, etc. It's so freaking hard to find any balance! Hopefully some option will come up that will work for us. Otherwise, I think I'm going to have to just be content with what we have and what we can provide, knowing that I'm doing the best thing possible for me and for them by staying home. Or I think so anyway! I hope they do too.

Journey to toddlerhood

This past weekend, we finally got around to searching through the boxes in the basement for the toddler bed bolts. We actually found them fairly quickly, and Eric got the bed set up pretty quickly as well. I clearly remember putting the bed together all by myself for Westen when I was a single parent. How things have changed!

Aeson napped in it for only about an hour that day. He loves climbing in it, and he shakes his head yes when we say anything about it being Aeson's bed. That night, he woke up several times. He woke up when we moved him from our bed to his, then he woke up several other times throughout the night. I've been trying to hold out nursing him until at least 4a.m., but he was so upset that night, I ended up nursing him earlier- and we let him finish the night off in our bed.

Last night, I had class, so Aeson was already asleep when I got home. We put him in his bed without him waking up and when he awoke after 1, Eric was able to easily pat him back to sleep, and then he stayed asleep until around 4:30 which is his usual time for waking to nurse. So it was much better! We're hoping it will keep getting better and after he's sleeping better, we can eventually move it into his own room. I'm pretty proud of him so far! He's made huge leaps the last couple weeks with nursing and everything.

He's also wanted to be DONE with diapers lately. He constantly pulls on them, trying to get them down, if he has one on, and then the second he pees, he really wants it off. I've been putting him on the potty, and he likes that BUT he only wants to sit for a second! He's always, always, always on the go. SO, if anyone has any tips or anything, let me know!

Weekend highlights

Every Thursday a couple of friends and I meet, with all our kids, for lunch and to hang out. Last Thursday, Shannon had the idea to go to Discovery Depot in Galesburg. I'd never even heard of it before. We loaded the kids up (Chels & Bentley went with us), ate lunch at Shannon's, and then headed there. It was SO much fun! I uploaded all the pics on Facebook. It was a little children's museum, with all sorts of play areas. It isn't very big, but that was perfect I thought, because you could just let the children run all over and could keep track of them easily. Both my boys had a total blast, and they were perfectly behaved the entire time. I was very glad we went! I wish our town had something similar. There's really NOTHING to do in the winter time. We stopped by Steak & Shake for a treat & then all the kids crashed on the way home!

Friday night, we spent with my sister and her husband, eating dinner and watching Dateline together, as is our usual Friday nights these days! I'm so glad we have them to spend time with!

Saturday night, Eric & I got to go on a date! We hardly ever get out of the house without the kids, it seems. The Wednesday before was our 3 year dating anniversary. It seems like we've been together so much longer! A lot has happened in those 3 years! Anyway, we went out for dinner and had kind of a crappy restaurant experience, but oh well. It was one of those nights you wish you could rewind and do something different, but at least we had fun together. Westen stayed the night with Eric's parents that night. He has so much fun with them. They had also watched the kids while we were gone, and while Aeson cried when we left, he was reading with them and didn't even make an effort to get up and come to us when we got home! We're lucky to have them as grandparents!

Sunday, we headed to Springfield to go shopping again. We hadn't found much for Westen in Quincy the weekend before, and we really didn't find much in Springfield either. Looks like I'll have to order online! We did find several things for ourselves (very good deals!) and got Aeson his first Cubs hat. He loves wearing hats lately. I can't wait to get his picture taken with it on! Aeson only napped about a half hour the entire day, but he was still well behaved.

We've had gorgeous weather here, and it makes me anxious for summer! I've enjoyed being outside every day. We've taken walks most days, and Aeson loves them. He also loves being outside, but he has to be followed pretty much every second to make sure he doesn't go into the road. We did some yard work Monday, and I can't wait to plant flowers and get my garden started. I had class Monday night, which I really didn't want to go to with how nice it was! I just have to remember it will be worth it in the end! I also wanted to see how I did on my first test, which I did get an A on. We have another one already next week.. I think there's a test or paper almost every class from now until the end of the semester. I'm glad I'll have more time to work on those things now!

A couple random things about the kids -- I realized the other day that you can hear every train that goes through town at our house.. You know how I realized this? Aeson gets this 'uh oh' look on his face and says "choo choo!" every time he hears one! :) Westen has also enjoyed our walks and anytime it's going to be anyone other than the 3 of us, he says we're having a "walking party!" :)

Last, but not least, Eric got a new job!!! He'd had several interviews over the last couple of weeks, and he finally heard on Saturday. He gave his 2 weeks at his current job today. The hours will still vary, but this job is only 32-36 hours most weeks (There will be times where he'd have to work a double or something if somebody calls in or whatever) and it still qualifies as full-time, which means BENEFITS!!!! Health, dental, vision, paid vacation, etc! You have no idea how lucky you are to have those things until you DON'T have them! AND it's in town! No more driving 30-45 minutes every day for work! I'm thrilled. More time home, benefits, less driving, yay! It's a managing position at Aldi, by the way, in case you were wondering. I can't wait til he starts!

The end of daycare

For quite a while, we have had a perfect routine figured out for weekends. This past weekend, we totally changed it, and it was a lot of fun! Friday night, my sister and her family came over for dinner, and we grilled out (which we did again on Monday! we love being able to!). Saturday, the kids and I ran all the errands early, Westen went with a schoolmate to a Spiderman/skating birthday party, and I was able to get a start on my first paper that's due since Aeson napped at the same time! When Daddy got home, we played outside for just a little while, and then Westen's friend Kaden came over & the boys stayed home and ordered pizza while Tabitha & I went out for mexican food and margaritas! We ended up sitting in the restaurant for almost 5 hours, just talking and talking and talking! Sunday, we got up & headed to Quincy with my sister and Eddie. We ate lunch at Steak & Shake, I showed Eric where I go to school, and we did some summer clothes shopping. We didn't find too much really, but we got a start. We had dinner and dropped Westen off at Eric's parents that evening. It was just a perfect weekend! I'm looking forward to many more this summer.

On Friday, I also announced to the daycare parents that I will no longer being doing daycare. It's just not working for our family right now. I told them that I plan to find a part-time job (which I do), and I thought it would be better doing it this way rather than giving them a short 2 week notice. In all honesty, operating a daycare has been the single most stressful thing I have ever done in my life! I'm a perfectionist, and I like to do everything to the best of my ability, and I simply felt I could not with that many little ones. It was leaking over into my home life as well, leaving me exhausted and unhappy. I did it to stay home with my kids, and most of the time I feel like I am pushing them off in order to care for another child. I'm glad I was able to do it for the time I was able to, but I'm more than ready to be done. The constant, constant illness was also very frustrating and there were just countless stressful situations that arose. I had no experience in daycare prior to this, so it was all a learning experience. I'm anxious to move on.. to spend quality time with my own children, to get out of the house! (I had too many little ones that it made it very difficult to go ANYWHERE, even the backyard), and to be less stressed!

It has actually been a process in the making for a long time.. We made lots of preparations. When Eric totaled his vehicle, we bought another that didn't require a monthly payment. Our insurance also went down. We got a new furnace and did some other weatherization that has made our electric bill go down. We changed Eric's cell phone plan to the cheapest one and recently did the same to mine, getting rid of the $60 a month Internet charge on them! We're waiting on unpaper towels and cloth napkins to be made, so those purchases drop. We already cloth diaper and could cloth wipe if I choose to. We used our tax refund to pay off our only credit card, all the medical bills we had, and some of our debt. Westen will be out of school soon, so we won't have that monthly payment. We changed our cable to the cheapest we could find. We've paid ahead on some things, and just basically have done everything we can, so that we could make it on Eric's income only if we needed to. It will be tight, but I think we'll be okay for a bit. I keep watching and applying, and hopefully I'll be able to find something that will work with either my sister or my husband's schedules.

It was a hard decision, and I struggled with it for a long time. I prayed a lot and felt like I was getting no answers. I figured if this was the path I was supposed to take another job would come up, making me quit the daycare; however, that never happened. Now, I think there were signs that I just didn't see. The rough days were happening more often, leaving me in tears at the end of the day too often. We did get a good tax refund that left us able to do a lot of the things I mentioned above and basically made it so it wasn't absolutely necessary that I work the next several months. I became completely comfortable with the decision for the first time ever, etc.

I wish the kids would have been able to stay together until school age.. and I think Aeson will miss his playmates. Westen's anxious to have his mommy back. We'll definitely be involved in playgroups too, and we'll be able to get out more, though, which I know Aeson will love. I'm confident it's the right decision for our family right now!

My loves at... 19 months & 5 years

My loves at 19 months (19 months!!! How did this happen?!)
I love...
-how he insists on sitting at the table with us, instead of in his high chair (he's done this for quite a while)
-how he's gotten away from signs and can communicate verbally more and more
-that he's always ready for "night night" because he knows he gets to nurse
-how nursing puts him to sleep in just a few minutes! (I love the cuddles that go along with it too)
-how his voice changes when he wants something or needs help.. It is too sweet!
what a good eater he is, in terms of variety... In terms of amount, not so much!
-that I can provide instant pain relief
-how clearly he says "no" and asserts himself already
-how he shakes his head "yes" and seems to understand everything I say (some of which I know he does.. like if I ask him to bring me something or throw something away, if he's hungry, etc.. some of which I'm pretty sure he doesn't know, like colors)
-how excited he gets when Daddy gets here every night
-how he has actually started to prefer Daddy sometimes!
-how much he LOVES to go "bye bye" .. He'll get his socks, shoes, and coat if he thinks we're going somewhere!
-how sweet he is to his brother .. like tonight, Westen's sick & Aeson keeps going over to give him cuddles & kisses (he doesn't randomly give kisses often either!)
-the funny new face he has started to make.. I'll have to post a picture if I can get one taken!
-how he copies every little thing his brother does! It's so humorous
-how he does something to surprise me or make me laugh every single day!

My loves at 5 years old
I love...
-that he can now make himself a SANDWICH! He loves doing it!
-that he's an AMAZING big brother and helper!
-his constant drawings.. and insisting on taping them up on the walls everywhere!
-that he's been trying more and more foods.. he'll take at least a bite or two, and I've been able to get him to eat some things he wouldn't before by adding ranch or ketchup (at least he's getting his veggies..!.. even cooked spinach worked this way!)
-how he says multiple times a day that his brother is "SO cute!"
-his desire to learn.. he asks about SO much every day
-how he thinks he has a girlfriend and has found the one he's going to marry!
-that he still comes up to us often & hugs us, telling us he loves us (I'm going to majorly miss that when he's older, I'm sure!)
-how he knows who Justin Beiber & Lady Gaga are and sings parts of their songs :)
-that Mommy's meals are usually "so good" and that I make it the "best ever!"
-how he loves Dairy Queen as much as Mommy does!
-how he runs to hug me and usually tell me he missed me when I pick him up from school (that's 2 hours long :))
-that he can entertain himself easily
-how excited he ALSO gets when Daddy gets home (and how he ALWAYS tells him we missed him)
-his constant interruptions when we're reading books, so he can ask questions :)
-that he also does something daily that surprises me or makes me laugh!