Wisconsin Dells

Today was the first day of our vacation in the Dells. We drove almost 6 hours total! We only had to stop once because Sissy was being fussy, and both the boys did absolutely wonderful with the drive. I was very happy with them! We stopped to eat lunch at Culver's once we arrived, because we were still too early to check in. We're staying at the Kalahari and were very surprised by how huge it is! We spent the afternoon at the water park. The boys had SO much fun. Aubryn was a little unsure, but they had baby swings so they can sit in the water & she liked those! There was tons for the boys to do.. They both enjoyed the slides and the wave pool in particular. Westen even went down a couple of the big slides! Included in our package was a pizza meal, so it was nice to order that up to our room after a crazy day. The boys also both love the hotel, by the way. We've heard "the Kalahari is the best!" and "you guys are the best parents" today! :) After dinner, we headed to the theme park here, but there wasn't much for Aub to do and it was pretty busy so after a carousel ride, she and I came back up to the room. We're waiting on the boys to get back now. I know they've played laser tag, and I'm sure they're having lots of fun!

One fourth of the way there!

My blog has been totally neglected during my first semester of nursing school! I can hardly believe I have one semester done already.. a fourth of the way there!

It was one crazy semester. I'm not sure exactly when it was, but I'm thinking about halfway through, I was almost at the quitting point. I cried every week before that. I asked myself (and still continued to) almost daily why I was doing this. It was a HUGE adjustment. I wasn't really gone that much, but when I was home, ALL I did was study. I quickly realized I didn't have to read every chapter BEFORE class and also, if I did homework away from home, it went so much quicker. We worked out a schedule that worked well for us and made some little adjustments, like Westen eating hot lunch occasionally (one less little things to do). The rest of the semester wasn't as bad.. but still stressful, of course! Proficiencies were the most nerve wracking. I always passed and always did well, but it was stressful not knowing which one we would draw and knowing we've have every little thing we were doing critiqued.

We had clinicals at elementary schools, retirement centers, flu shot clinics (we gave flu shots to actual people! That was scary too! :)), we did blood pressure and glucose screenings, and finally, ended up in the OR! I was so nervous I was going to pass out. We had several people pass out in class and in the OR, and I'd read lots of stories online. I ended up doing okay, but I didn't care too much for surgery. I was glad when it was over!

One thing I wish I could get a handle on is my nerves. With constant big tests, proficiencies, and clinical experiences, there was always something to be nervous about. I wish I could just relax and do the best I can without all the nerves! If there is one word for nursing school, though, it is for sure STRESSFUL!

I ended up with all A's and one B+. I'm frustrated by the B+, but it is what it is. At the beginning of the semester, I wasn't even sure I could pass with a grade above 80. Ironically, this wasn't one of the classes I was worried about at all.

Aubryn was probably the least affected by my being gone! I had been most worried about her, with no need to be! (Seems like it always goes like that) She's 9 1/2 months now and still a super happy baby. She's so very sweet. She never cried when I left, was always happy to see her grandma or spend time with Daddy, and was always happy when I got back home. She LOVES my hair (or any hair, really!). It's the first thing she grabs when I pick her up. :) She plays with it when she goes to sleep or any other time she wants comfort. I'm almost positive she's going to marry a boy with long hair. :) She's growing up too fast.. currently crawling, starting to pull up to things, and saying several words (mama, dada, dog, no no, milk, meow, all done, night night, woof woof, bye bye).

***

Well, I started this entry three weeks ago and never got a chance to get back to it! Aubryn's now 10 months, pulling up on everything & cruising along it. She has seven teeth (four on top, three on bottom) and is eating the same foods we do. She hates wearing socks and is always pulling them off, just like her brother! Anyway, she remained happy the whole time I was in school.

Aeson and Westen had more trouble with it. Westen wanted me to quit.. I think he missed me picking him up from school, and it was difficult on the whole family with me studying the whole time I was home. Aeson cried several times when I had to leave for class, and I always felt so bad. It definitely helps that he was always with Daddy or his grandma, though.

Now I'm one semester in and close to starting the second. The semester really did go by quickly, so hopefully all of it will!

Christmas was wonderful, as usual. We're so lucky to have so many loved ones to spend it with. The boys loved having Timmy, our elf, here from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. Aeson watched the show about it a million times! Westen got very sick not long before Christmas but was luckily over it by the time Christmas came. He ended up having strep, ear infection, and pneumonia. I'd never seen the poor kid so sick. I absolutely hate it when my babies are sick. Westen's so strong and brave, though.. No matter how sick he was, he would still insist that he was "fine." He spent almost an entire week in his bed, with just about every symptom known to man. Thank goodness no one else got any of it.

He's still drawing like crazy and continues to get better. He's loving it at St. Paul, and I feel so much better knowing he's happy about school. It's such a different feeling when he is thriving and is excited about school than when you have to worry about what is happening to him all day long and have to convince him to go every morning.

Aeson's his usual busy self! Always thinking of new things to do.. things I swear no other kid would ever think of! They're all getting so big.

The day after Christmas, we adopted a kitten. She's a grey and calico six week old with white paws. The kids named her Sparky, and they absolutely love her. We, on the other hand, can't wait until she's out of her kitten stage!

First Week Done

Last week was full of so many mixed feelings! I felt..

proud to have been accepted into the program (did I say there are only 30 of us?)
so worried about my baby girl
thankful for the opportunity
excited for all the learning
sad I'm going to miss out on time with my babies
scared that I can't do it
certainty that I can do it
bored at times
overwhelmed with all the reading and homework
nervous, especially the first day
happy that I'm where I'm meant to be & doing what I'm certain I'm meant to be doing
glad that my prior education and experience only add to this
incredibly thankful for my husband who made all of us meals, kept up the house, and took care of my babies; my family and friends for support; my mother-in-law for watching my babies too, so they don't have to be somewhere they don't know; and my grandma for her constant help-- she surprised us with dinner one night, offered to watch the boys another night so Eric & I could go to dinner, and watched the boys for several hours on Saturday so I could do homework

It totally depends on the day & what's going on, both at school and at home, whether I feel good or bad about all of it. I'm hoping this will be the last week Aubryn has difficulty.. In my experience, it usually takes babies two full weeks to get used to something new. Eric & I have worked pretty well together with all the changes. I think it's good for both of us!

Nursing School - Week One

I'm about halfway through my first week of nursing school!

Monday was orientation.. It was pretty scary! The director talked about how it's much easier to get into nursing school than stay in, how med school is easier (vet school is the only thing harder, she said), how we have to have no other responsibilities & must say "goodbye" to our family & friends (they'll have us all our lives, she said, while nursing school only takes 4 semesters), how she'll embarrass us if we don't do the work we're supposed to, and on and on.. And if we don't do these things, we won't make it. How we appear is also very strict, and we'll be sent home if we don't follow the guidelines. It's pretty nerve-wracking!

Filling out my planner was also overwhelming.. I have my schedule now, and I don't think it's that bad; however, all the homework we have to do is INSANE. Every class period, there are countless exercises due and TONS of reading. Just for one class this first week, we have to read 200 pages. It's going to be tons of work, but I'm sure the four semesters will go by very quickly.

Eric's on vacation this week, and things seem to be going pretty well. He's done a great job at keeping up on housework and while the meals he's made haven't been the healthiest, at least I have someone to cook for me/us! I'm worried about his return to work next week, because things will get much harder! We'll manage, though, I'm sure!

Little miss Aubryn still would not take a bottle, even when I was gone all day. She's eating some solids now, so Eric's been feeding her those when I'm gone. She's been more fussy, but nothing he hasn't been able to handle. She's such a different baby than Mr. Aeson was, and for that, I'm thankful! I think she's teething again on top of all the changes, so she's been a little off this week.. I'm sure we'll get into the swing of things, though.

I miss my babies, and it makes me tear up when I have to read or go to class instead of spending time with them.. But once I'm in class, I'm fine, and I really am excited to get started on my career.

When I visited my midwife last week for a physical, she was talking to a student who was with her and said, "Ashley will be interested in this. She's going to be a midwife someday." I love that she barely knows me really but has that much confidence in me.. confidence I don't have in myself! I'm so glad I met her, though, and I really do hope I can make it through and study under her one day. She's a fabulous woman!

Nursing school in ONE week

There is ONE week left until school starts. That's it! The thought gives me butterflies and makes me feel slightly nauseous.

I have so many mixed feelings about starting nursing school.. I'm nervous, since I don't know what to expect and won't be going through it with any of my friends.. I'm excited- to learn, to master, and to be able to move forward with a career I want.. I'm sad, since I will be leaving my baby girl and my 3 year old boy all day, when they're used to me being home.. I feel proud, and scared, and all sorts of things!

It brings tears to my eyes that I'll have to leave my little ones. I love them so, so much, and I hope they always know that. I do believe it's important to do something with my life.. Not that being a mother isn't; I just so often feel like I devote everything - my entire being - to that, and I'm not sure that's setting the best example. I still will devote everything I have to being a good mother, but I also want to have SOMEthing for myself. When they're older, it will be good for me to have a career.. and it will be good for them in many ways too. (Do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself? Maybe I am!)

I've been getting up earlier to get my body used to it, so I'm not dead tired the first week of school. That has been hard! I'm pretty tired throughout the day, but I also enjoy being up before everyone else & I've found time to exercise being awake so many hours! I've gotten all my books and supplies.. The only thing I don't have is my iPad, which is being repaired! (thank goodness for the extra coverage  we got on it!)

Westen will be starting first grade the same day I start school, and he's all ready as well. Eric took the first week off from work, so he'll be staying home with them all. I hope he's ready, because it will for sure be a transition for all of us!

I've heard such horror stories about nursing school.. how difficult it is, etc. I think my main worry is that I just can't do it. I don't like being a failure, and I hope I won't be. Several songs and sayings help give me strength and the belief that I CAN do it, so hopefully I can just keep those in mind.

Summertime

It has been SO hot here (over 100 degrees for days, with no rain). It's made it too hot to even do much outside. We spent the 4th of July with my sister and her family. Westen & Aeson both enjoyed the fireworks, and even Aub was awake still (nursing part of the time & watching part of the time). Westen's been going to a Vacation Bible School this week. He loves it! Both boys also finished the library summer reading program. They got certificates, toys, personal pizzas, and tickets to a couple events. We've gone to see the local "zoo lady" and a magician there. I'm so glad we have these programs for the kids to do.. Especially since they're free! We've gone to the newest Madagascar and Ice Age movies- with all 3 kids at the theater! Westen also attended a day summer camp all about insects that he loved. This past week, we've been getting things ready for school and Aeson's upcoming birthday. Westen picked out his own school shoes and a Mario backpack and lunchbox again. :) I took him by myself, and it was nice to spend some one on one time with my oldest boy! With school coming up (another bill for us), it was absolutely necessary that we come up with a budget. We've tried before but never this in depth. I went back and looked at past months, figuring out how much we spent on everything. I was SHOCKED at how much we spend at Walmart! We are now trying to avoid that place as much as we can! We go to Aldi & the dollar store to get everything we can and then go there if we absolutely must for one or two things. I also didn't realize how much we spend on gas. Now I have a specific amount I allot after bills are paid and then take what we have left out after that, so our spending money (which includes everything other than groceries) is in cash. It makes me realize exactly how much we have. It also really makes one think about what they want to spend their money on! We haven't eaten out since. I'm worried about big costs that come up (3 kids is getting super expensive..between clothes, camps, diapers, haircuts, sports, school supplies, etc), but I'm trying my Hardest not to worry. I'm hoping to have a yard sale and also sell some of the baby items online to get some more spending money. We're meeting with an insurance agent tomorrow to see if we can get our insurance any cheaper. Anyone have any tips as far as all this is concerned?? It definitely makes me remember why I'm going to school & how important it is!

4 months

Ms. Aubryn turned 4 months on Sunday. Several weeks ago, she started grabbing at toys. This past weekend, she figured out how to happily scream and also how to blow bubbles with her mouth. She's also really using her tummy muscles in an effort to sit up. She hates tummy time, which is weird since she likes it so muh as a newborn. She also hasn't been sleeping as well, especially during the day and I feel like a human pacifier! I think, and hope, it's just a reflection of her increased awareness and all the cognitive chanes going on right now. Aeson is a typical almost 3 year old. He's been potty trained (well, for peeing) for quite some time now. He's recently gotten scared of the dark, so he's also keeping us up at night! Westen is still pretty much the same! They really change less, or slower anyway, as they get older. He's growing somewhat bored with summer but isn't ready to return to school yet. We're working on learning to read with him. Eric was dancing with Aubryn last night & asked if that was how they were going to dance at her wedding. It made me teary! I'm busy working on the list that's a mile long of things I need to do before nursing school. I wish I could stop worrying about it.. It's just going to be a big change, and I hate relying on other people for watching my babies. I am super thankful I'm even able to go, though.. Hopefully it will be worth it and a major boost for our family.