First Week Done

Last week was full of so many mixed feelings! I felt..

proud to have been accepted into the program (did I say there are only 30 of us?)
so worried about my baby girl
thankful for the opportunity
excited for all the learning
sad I'm going to miss out on time with my babies
scared that I can't do it
certainty that I can do it
bored at times
overwhelmed with all the reading and homework
nervous, especially the first day
happy that I'm where I'm meant to be & doing what I'm certain I'm meant to be doing
glad that my prior education and experience only add to this
incredibly thankful for my husband who made all of us meals, kept up the house, and took care of my babies; my family and friends for support; my mother-in-law for watching my babies too, so they don't have to be somewhere they don't know; and my grandma for her constant help-- she surprised us with dinner one night, offered to watch the boys another night so Eric & I could go to dinner, and watched the boys for several hours on Saturday so I could do homework

It totally depends on the day & what's going on, both at school and at home, whether I feel good or bad about all of it. I'm hoping this will be the last week Aubryn has difficulty.. In my experience, it usually takes babies two full weeks to get used to something new. Eric & I have worked pretty well together with all the changes. I think it's good for both of us!

Nursing School - Week One

I'm about halfway through my first week of nursing school!

Monday was orientation.. It was pretty scary! The director talked about how it's much easier to get into nursing school than stay in, how med school is easier (vet school is the only thing harder, she said), how we have to have no other responsibilities & must say "goodbye" to our family & friends (they'll have us all our lives, she said, while nursing school only takes 4 semesters), how she'll embarrass us if we don't do the work we're supposed to, and on and on.. And if we don't do these things, we won't make it. How we appear is also very strict, and we'll be sent home if we don't follow the guidelines. It's pretty nerve-wracking!

Filling out my planner was also overwhelming.. I have my schedule now, and I don't think it's that bad; however, all the homework we have to do is INSANE. Every class period, there are countless exercises due and TONS of reading. Just for one class this first week, we have to read 200 pages. It's going to be tons of work, but I'm sure the four semesters will go by very quickly.

Eric's on vacation this week, and things seem to be going pretty well. He's done a great job at keeping up on housework and while the meals he's made haven't been the healthiest, at least I have someone to cook for me/us! I'm worried about his return to work next week, because things will get much harder! We'll manage, though, I'm sure!

Little miss Aubryn still would not take a bottle, even when I was gone all day. She's eating some solids now, so Eric's been feeding her those when I'm gone. She's been more fussy, but nothing he hasn't been able to handle. She's such a different baby than Mr. Aeson was, and for that, I'm thankful! I think she's teething again on top of all the changes, so she's been a little off this week.. I'm sure we'll get into the swing of things, though.

I miss my babies, and it makes me tear up when I have to read or go to class instead of spending time with them.. But once I'm in class, I'm fine, and I really am excited to get started on my career.

When I visited my midwife last week for a physical, she was talking to a student who was with her and said, "Ashley will be interested in this. She's going to be a midwife someday." I love that she barely knows me really but has that much confidence in me.. confidence I don't have in myself! I'm so glad I met her, though, and I really do hope I can make it through and study under her one day. She's a fabulous woman!

Nursing school in ONE week

There is ONE week left until school starts. That's it! The thought gives me butterflies and makes me feel slightly nauseous.

I have so many mixed feelings about starting nursing school.. I'm nervous, since I don't know what to expect and won't be going through it with any of my friends.. I'm excited- to learn, to master, and to be able to move forward with a career I want.. I'm sad, since I will be leaving my baby girl and my 3 year old boy all day, when they're used to me being home.. I feel proud, and scared, and all sorts of things!

It brings tears to my eyes that I'll have to leave my little ones. I love them so, so much, and I hope they always know that. I do believe it's important to do something with my life.. Not that being a mother isn't; I just so often feel like I devote everything - my entire being - to that, and I'm not sure that's setting the best example. I still will devote everything I have to being a good mother, but I also want to have SOMEthing for myself. When they're older, it will be good for me to have a career.. and it will be good for them in many ways too. (Do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself? Maybe I am!)

I've been getting up earlier to get my body used to it, so I'm not dead tired the first week of school. That has been hard! I'm pretty tired throughout the day, but I also enjoy being up before everyone else & I've found time to exercise being awake so many hours! I've gotten all my books and supplies.. The only thing I don't have is my iPad, which is being repaired! (thank goodness for the extra coverage  we got on it!)

Westen will be starting first grade the same day I start school, and he's all ready as well. Eric took the first week off from work, so he'll be staying home with them all. I hope he's ready, because it will for sure be a transition for all of us!

I've heard such horror stories about nursing school.. how difficult it is, etc. I think my main worry is that I just can't do it. I don't like being a failure, and I hope I won't be. Several songs and sayings help give me strength and the belief that I CAN do it, so hopefully I can just keep those in mind.

Summertime

It has been SO hot here (over 100 degrees for days, with no rain). It's made it too hot to even do much outside. We spent the 4th of July with my sister and her family. Westen & Aeson both enjoyed the fireworks, and even Aub was awake still (nursing part of the time & watching part of the time). Westen's been going to a Vacation Bible School this week. He loves it! Both boys also finished the library summer reading program. They got certificates, toys, personal pizzas, and tickets to a couple events. We've gone to see the local "zoo lady" and a magician there. I'm so glad we have these programs for the kids to do.. Especially since they're free! We've gone to the newest Madagascar and Ice Age movies- with all 3 kids at the theater! Westen also attended a day summer camp all about insects that he loved. This past week, we've been getting things ready for school and Aeson's upcoming birthday. Westen picked out his own school shoes and a Mario backpack and lunchbox again. :) I took him by myself, and it was nice to spend some one on one time with my oldest boy! With school coming up (another bill for us), it was absolutely necessary that we come up with a budget. We've tried before but never this in depth. I went back and looked at past months, figuring out how much we spent on everything. I was SHOCKED at how much we spend at Walmart! We are now trying to avoid that place as much as we can! We go to Aldi & the dollar store to get everything we can and then go there if we absolutely must for one or two things. I also didn't realize how much we spend on gas. Now I have a specific amount I allot after bills are paid and then take what we have left out after that, so our spending money (which includes everything other than groceries) is in cash. It makes me realize exactly how much we have. It also really makes one think about what they want to spend their money on! We haven't eaten out since. I'm worried about big costs that come up (3 kids is getting super expensive..between clothes, camps, diapers, haircuts, sports, school supplies, etc), but I'm trying my Hardest not to worry. I'm hoping to have a yard sale and also sell some of the baby items online to get some more spending money. We're meeting with an insurance agent tomorrow to see if we can get our insurance any cheaper. Anyone have any tips as far as all this is concerned?? It definitely makes me remember why I'm going to school & how important it is!

4 months

Ms. Aubryn turned 4 months on Sunday. Several weeks ago, she started grabbing at toys. This past weekend, she figured out how to happily scream and also how to blow bubbles with her mouth. She's also really using her tummy muscles in an effort to sit up. She hates tummy time, which is weird since she likes it so muh as a newborn. She also hasn't been sleeping as well, especially during the day and I feel like a human pacifier! I think, and hope, it's just a reflection of her increased awareness and all the cognitive chanes going on right now. Aeson is a typical almost 3 year old. He's been potty trained (well, for peeing) for quite some time now. He's recently gotten scared of the dark, so he's also keeping us up at night! Westen is still pretty much the same! They really change less, or slower anyway, as they get older. He's growing somewhat bored with summer but isn't ready to return to school yet. We're working on learning to read with him. Eric was dancing with Aubryn last night & asked if that was how they were going to dance at her wedding. It made me teary! I'm busy working on the list that's a mile long of things I need to do before nursing school. I wish I could stop worrying about it.. It's just going to be a big change, and I hate relying on other people for watching my babies. I am super thankful I'm even able to go, though.. Hopefully it will be worth it and a major boost for our family.

3 months

Aubryn is 3 months old now! She's starting to get into a routine all on her own. She has a short nap in the morning! Sleeps for several hours around lunchtime, and then has a couple more little naps before bedtime. She gets fussy if we're not in bed by around 9 too. She slept all night again the other night (from 10:30-6:30!). She's so smiley, especially in the mornings, and she loves to "talk". Even though I know she's not, it seriously sounds like she's saying real words sometimes! One of her coos sounds just like "hiiii." :) Western and I are done with school for the summer! I ended the semester with one A and one B, and I'm happy with that. Both classes had labs, which means double the work, and it was hard to find the time toward the end of my pregnancy and shortly after having Aubryn. Yesterday was Westen's last day! I can't believe he'll be going into first grade! We are contemplating a move to Eric's hometown again. It all came about because I'm not sure (actually, I'm pretty certain we wont be able to) if we could afford Westen going to private school again next year. My mom mentioned a house that just came on the market, so we've looked at it a couple times. Westen says he doesn't mind switching schools, but there are definite disadvantages to this house/location (also tons of advantages too). We'll keep talking and praying about it. I never know what the right thing to do is! Aeson's been his usual self! He set off the hold up alarm at Eric's work this week, so two cops ended up showing up! He also used an ice cream sandwich to draw on his bedroom walls. Oh, and squirted makeup all over my grandma's floor and comforter! It's not that he's trying to be bad.. His mind just moves a million miles a minute and he's so curios about everything!

Mother's Day 2012

I had a wonderful Mother's Day this year! I think it was my favorite so far!

We all slept in, after celebrating Eric's 30th birthday the night before. I woke up to Eric making all of us breakfast! After eating and spending a lazy morning inside, we went to lunch with Eric's parents and his brother's family. It was a good time, and we got his mom a couple of gifts, in hopes of showing how VERY much we appreciate her. After lunch, we got movies and I even got a little nap! Eric's always very helpful with the kids, but he was even more so. We all went out to play after that, and it was a wonderful day to just sit outside. I LOVE our backyard, now that we got our landscaping done! My sister and her family came over for dinner (leftovers from the night before) & our mom stopped by briefly. We headed to Grandma's after that to spend some time with her, and then came home and went on a nice walk. The boys were tired once we got home, so they headed to bed, while we got things ready for Monday & then ended the night watching New Year's Eve together.

It really was a great day! I was glad to see everyone we got to see & even more glad that I got to spend the whole day with my family! Mothers definitely do a lot, and we definitely have a lot of things to be thankful to them for.. but I'm thankful for my kids, every single day. They made me a mom and have made me the person I am today. I'm thankful for THEM! (And my helpful and thoughtful husband.. I couldn't be half the mom I am if it weren't for him)